Captain America 3

Captain America: In the Nude

Captain America #3 is the result of someone actually approving a series about an overly patriotic man on steroids.

Captain America goes to WarEdit


After three weeks of going on promotion tours for the American military, Captain America has not punched a single audience member. His boss is so impressed by his self-control that he has Cap deployed to the front lines in Europe. Cap punches his boss through a wall in celebration, steals the horse of his boss , and rides the horse from New York all the way to Europe. With the horse resting comfortably at the bottom of the ocean, Captain America runs forward into the gunfire. He wakes up a weak later, having been shot 384 times and put into a coma. He gets up, makes an explosion because explosions are American, and then leaves to go fight some more.


The Hot SpringEdit


Captain America is leading a squad of men through the deep jungles of Paris when he sees a hot spring. He strips naked and jumps in. He realizes that all of his men not only know his secret identity, but have now seen his steroid-infused soldier standing at attention. He orders all of his men to drop their supplies and run into the forest, never to be seen again. After enjoying the hot spring, he realizes that one of his men has been watching him this whole time. Cap respects the kid's guts and decides not to rip them out of him. As the kid is the only guy left in the squad, he becomes the Captain's sidekick.



  • This was the first comic book intended for adult audiences only. Probably because you can see Captain America's junk.
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