Lois Crazy

Lois when she's off her meds.

Lois Lane is a reporter at the Daily Planet and the chick that Clark Kent is always hitting on. Lois Lane first met Clark when he joined the Daily Planet and they became coworkers. She is repulsed by Clark, preferring the much manlier and stronger Superman. Lois is also a part-time patient of Arkham Asylum and total nutcase.

Powers and AbilitiesEdit


If being lame is a power, Lois Lane is very powerful. It is not a power, however, so she is powerless.


  • Slap-Fighting: Lois is a black belt in organized slap-fighting, and currently holds the position of world champion slap-fighter three years running.
  • Mediocre Journalism: Lois Lane is a journalist, and can work at the level you'd expect from a middle school newspaper.


  • Insanity: Lois Lane is completely insane. She randomly attacks people for no reason, she speaks in gibberish, she has a death-wish, and she once tried to shoot Superman in the crotch because she thought he was a spider.
  • Stupidity: Lois Lane is what we call a "stupid person". A stupid person is someone who thinks and does stupid things for no reason.
  • Lack of Impulse Control: If you told her you'd give her a scoop if she jumped into a volcano, she'd do it.


  • Lois Lane once attempted to "Be Superman". By this, we mean that she put on a cape and jumped out of a 70th story window. Were it not for the unfortunate heroics of Superman, she would finally be dead.